Another Sentence to Your Story (Kamenashi, Yamashita)

[digitalized]

Another Sentence to Your Story
Kamenashi Kazuya, Yamashita Tomohisa

Another Sentence to Your Story
(Johnny's Entertainment; Kamenashi Kazuya, Yamashita Tomohisa)

June, 2005

He did it out of pure curiousity. Everyone (and their cousins, Kamenashi would add with a distained voice) know about Yamashitai's J-Web, it's only natural that he's interested in the blasted thing. And everyone under Johnny's has free access to the service anyway, so there's nothing special about him keying Yamashita's diary to his personal cell-phone.

Plus, he kind of wonders how someone as busy as Yamashita can manage to write an entry every day. Even Kamenashi, who is by far not as well-known as Yamashita is, finds himself too tired after work to write in it. Sure, feeding the fans tidbits about themselves proves to bring up their popularity, but Kamenashi has no intention of sharing that much of himself with complete strangers.

He could always just ask Yamashita, but then, well...they don't really know each other. They know about each other, but that's probably as far as their connection goes. There used to be a time when he could go up to the other and ask him whatever's on his mind, but that time went away just as his baseball craze did.

Or he could go the roundabout way and request Akanishi (who just so happens to be Yamashita's best friend, the traitor) to question Yamashita on this, but Kamenashi just isn't the type to do things behind other's back. Even if he's entitled to a few selfish moments, he's not quite that pitiful yet.

And it's just his luck that the first entry his reads would be about Akanishi and Yamashita's friendly battle to gain weight (#662). It's completely idiotic, down to the fact that Yamashita's practically whoring himself out to his female fans. Along with that goddamn angelic face of his, everyone just believes Yamashita without even pausing.

There's also the fact that the guys has another drama, which would no doubt have a wonderful storyline, and everyone would be tuning in to watch him. Even if it sucked, or the fact that his character doesn't really do much, just the fact that Yamashita Tomohisa is sitting there would be sufficient (and no, Kamenashi didn't steal the script when he saw it on the table that day).

It definitely didn't help that the next day, Yamashita randomly mentions the beach and shopping (#663). If this goes on, Kamenashi would have to declare that Yamashita is as stupid as he looks. But regardless of how completely ridiculous the diary entries are, it's slightly (only slightly, mind you!) impressive that Yamashita writes that much every day.

Not that Kamenashi would ever admit that in front of Yamashita.


----------------------------


July, 2005

It's been nearly a month since he first started reading Yamashita's diary, but that had been the last straw. Sure, he's always known that the guy takes care of his fans like no one else does, but what in the world is the point of begging his fans to pay attention to him when the guy gets all the attention anyway?

No one can blame him when the urge to send a reply, any reply, overloaded in Kamenashi's brain. They really don't know each other these days, but he's seen the other from time to time and never noticed that the guy's turned into something like this.

Where's the caring senior he once backdanced for?

Okay, so Yamashita's not really his senior these day, so Kamenashi really can't complain about him not taking care of his juniors. They're almost - the industry still takes care of Yamashita more, but whatever - equals now, and with all the KAT-TUN versus NEWS fights, Kamenashi has every right to comment about Yamashita's personality.

Maybe that's why he went to the only blog service he knows about (there's simply no time for him to spend time on the Internet) online and registered for an account. Maybe that's why he's pretending to be a fan. Or anti-fan, doesn't matter.

All he was thinking about was how Yamashita really needs to learn to be humble. Thus, he posted,

2005/07/01 (reply to: #691)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

Are you always this annoying? We know you're famous and beloved. You don't have to remind us of that fact every single day.

Apparently, someone saw the entry and told their friends. Who told their other friends. The next day, there's four comments about how Yamashita is really cute and how he shouldn't diss the idol (though they probably don't know he's a guy), which was unbelievable because really, all Kamenashi did was say that he knows how Yamashita's famous and beloved. Who defends against that kind of opinion?

There was, however, one fan that said she agreed. That though Yamashita's hot (okay, even Kamenashi can't deny that), his personality doesn't seem the greatest around, and that it's probably the end product of being the star of Johnny's Entertainment for too long.

Kamenashi agreed with every bone in his body.


----------------------------


August, 2005

They're going to act in a drama together. A story about a girl who's always bullied and two guys that try to help her, except that they end up being helped themselves.

He's not worried about them not getting along, not at all. They know how to appear together on stage, they're both professionals. And maybe, yeah, Kamenashi knows Yamashita a bit more than Yamashita knows Kamenashi. Though it's a diary for fans, he can tell Yamashita's quite truthful when writing it. Just the idea is soothing - it's like having an advantage over the other.

He just wishes that Yamashita would stop treating the whole starring as a supporting actor in the same drama with Kamenashi thing as a charity case.

Seeing his own name in Yamashita's diary is weird. Even if he didn't notice at first, Kamenashi's actually gotten used to reading the thing.

He's not one of Yamashita's rapid fans, though. He's also a Johnny's, dammit - just because Yamashita maybe shines a little brighter than he does doesn't mean he has to look up to Yamashita like everyone else does. Hell, even those in NEWS has claimed to worship Yamashita. The guy really doesn't need another fan.

It's also been a little more than a month since he started writing short replies on that blog. Despite leaving not the best first impression, he's toned down his complaints a little and people are starting to think him funny. They've said things like "You write to Yamapi like he's really your friend!" and even though he's really really not, it's kind of a good praise.

Yeah, after the entirety of July, he's gotten used to writing his replies to Yamashita like a fan would. A rebellious fan, probably, but it attracts people and it's quite nice knowing that people are reading his words. Maybe that's why Yamashita keeps his diary.

So, it's weird reading about himself on a entry. It doesn't feel right, like talking to himself in third person. Except he's talking to Yamashita, but then, Yamashita doesn't know this and would never notice, so maybe it's not that weird.

2005/08/05 (reply to: #726)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

I saw the interview today. Kamenashi-kun was a lot more energetic than you were! If this continues on, people are going to think you're quiet and shy, even if you're really not. Also, were you two really that close in junior high? It certainly doesn't seem so.

Also, stop obsessing over banana juice. It tastes really weird.

There were a lot more replies than usual that day. Most of them's asking if he's also a fan (also? huh.) of Kamenashi, and some of them insisted that "Kame and Yamapi were close, but they fought once and that's why you can't tell". It's really kind of ironic, but...yeah, alright, it's fun. The fans really are hilarious, especially since they're treating these people on television like, gods, or something.

He's getting about a hundred page views a day these days. And he's also gained the reputation as a massive fan of Yamapi, just because he reads and replies to Yamashita's J-Web everyday. Nevermind that he's always going against the guy, simply because he pays attention to Yamashita, he's a fan.

They also think he's female, which is altogether funny. Aren't there any male fans?

And then, Kamenashi realizes that during the duration of August, he going to see Yamashita. A lot. Like, nearly three times a week. The industry's promoting this drama like insane - they've been invited to a large amount of talk shows and it's always Nobuta this, Nobuta that, Nobuta everywhere.

No one can blame him when he writes,

2005/08/18 (reply to: #739)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

I'm really excited about the new drama, but I'm also curious. I've heard a lot of people saying how you don't get along with Kamenashi-kun. You two look fine on television, but maybe secretly it's actually that way? It'd be awkward if that's true, wouldn't it.

There's about fifty replies the next day. Some of them even mentioned how "Yamapi and Kame look really good together", and Kamenashi gets reminded once again why Johnny's are always glomping each other's butts. Not that he needs any reminding, but hell, he would never understand why the fans like imagining them as couples. Wouldn't it make more sense if they're pretending to be their girlfriends or whatever?

It's really kind of disturbing. And it seems like he would have to pretend to be really close to Yamashita for the next few months. Oh joy.


----------------------------


September, 2005

As predicted, he's seeing Yamashita every few days now. They actually went out to dinner together once, and okay. So maybe Yamashita's actually a nice person. The guy has a really large ego, but then he has the backbone to stand up to all that confidence.

The dinner had been nice. No one recognized them, and they talked about how their junior high days were really like (instead of the exaggerated versions on TV) while joking around. They also came around the issue of how they were just too stubborn to talk to each other, and after both agreeing that they should grow up and get past it, things were going absolutely fine.

He's even alright with writing constantly about himself in third-person now.

2005/09/09 (reply to: #761)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

The ending of Dragon Zakura was interesting. Your character's really confident, studying to be a lawyer alone!

The filming of Nobuta wo Produce started already? Did you get to know your co-stars? Even if you're more famous than they are, you should try to get to know them. They won't approach you if you don't, you know?

He didn't exactly do it on purpose, but everyone that read his blog noticed how he said more than he should. They asked about how he knew that Yamashita didn't warm up to his co-stars immediately, and someone was actually stupid enough to ask if he actually knows Yamashita.

Which is true, but whatever. Normally that's not possible, right? The fan's still stupid for suggesting it.

He put up a sign anyway, exclaiming that he does not know Yamashita Tomohisa, he's just someone who pretends to write to Yamashita-kun, and it's because he reads the guy's diary everyday that it feels weird not being able to reply to it. He puts it at the top, so people wouldn't accidentally oversee it, though after these months of interacting with fans he kind of realizes that most of them are illiterate.

It feels good though, being able to give Yamapi (the guy insisted that Kamenashi call him this, and in order to look cuddly around each other, there's really no other choice) some advice. Normally he would never do so, because he's Yamashita Tomohisa, and that guy doesn't need any suggestions, but it felt natural saying it on his blog like that.

So a few days later, he did it again,

2005/09/12 (reply to: #764)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

Your new style is good. It gives off a feeling of you being a good student! After all, your old hairstyle is for a bad teenager, so it really fits. But the brushy style fits you better, though - in my opinion, anyway.

And yes, everyone that commented to his journal had various feelings about the change, but Kamenashi no longer has any time to go and read them all. Even if the filming hasn't started, just promoting the show proves to be exhausting.

The blog actually has some fans of its own, now. People who visit everyday and comment, others that don't voice their thoughts but watch the blog with their own accounts.

Somehow, it feels good. Like he has a special connection with Yamashita, 'cause through the guy's fans he's gained some insight on how Yamapi really does own more than his face. Even if they're not friends, even if they'd be separating once the drama is over, it's neat having the privilege of understanding him this way.

Kamenashi doesn't quite understand why there's a lump in his throat.


----------------------------


October, 2005

The past month has been downright maniacal.

First it's the whole "Shuuji and Akira" forming a limited group thing. His singing would be in a CD and it's just not right, when KAT-TUN hasn't even debuted yet. The others don't really blame him, but their resentment shows in their eyes and Kamenashi wants to carve how it's not his fault into their hearts.

It's also not fair, how easy it is to dance and sing alongside Yamapi. It's not the first time, they've gone on stage as KAT-TUN and NEWS and it works out just fine, but now it's only them two and there's something special about it. Like they're allies now instead of rivals, and that's true, isn't it, why is it that Kamenashi finds it difficult to believe?

And finally. Acting as Shuuji's almost as simple as breathing, it's really kind of like acting as himself, but seeing Yamapi as Akira really freaks him out.

That's just not Yamashita. Not the one he gets to be around with. This Yamapi is reserved for friends only, normally those in his own group with an addition of Akanishi, but this version of Yamashita Tomohisa is now being filmed and standing next to him throughout the day.

It doesn't feel right, but then nothing about this drama really does. Supposingly from a point of view, they're kind of like friends now. At least for the time being. But only because they're obliged to spend time together - they have nothing in common, and there's no doubt after the drama ends, they'd be going their own separate ways.

Feels strange, that. They're going to spend the next few months practically glued to each other's sides. And then after that...there'd be nothing between them. It's comforting though, because as long as Kamenashi holds on to this thought, he wouldn't have to watch another friend leave him behind.

And even after the filming, he can laugh at Yamapi on his blog. That's enough, right?

2005/10/07 (reply to: #789)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

The name "Shuuji and Akira" is really good! Too bad it's only for a limited time only. But how can you not know how the end product will be like, when you acted through the whole thing? Especially the PV - you spent an entire day of living with that song! It's ridiculous how you don't know what it'd be like.

2005/10/10 (reply to: #792)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

If you have time to write in your diary at midnight, you should go to sleep! After all, even if one of your fans waited until midnight, they wouldn't mind. Everyone waits for you, right?

Getting enough sleep more important than pleasing your fans.

But it doesn't stop there, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that the entire thing is spinning out of control. The blog's readers think he's making up a very plausible story, but Kamenashi just feels like he's lying over and over again.

The entry on October 17th turned out to be the first one Kamenashi can't reply to. (#798) Because not only is it talking about them watching the first episode together, Yamapi constantly talks about Akira and Kamenashi just wants to scream. Your fans would only think it's cute, damn you!, his mind feeds but alas it's just not fair because he can't reply to that. There's no way.

Missing an entry caused an uproar among his readers. They don't blame him for it, but they're asking for an extra entry in return, except that it wasn't because he was too busy that he couldn't reply, it's because of the content.

He started writing it because he wanted to reply to Yamapi's J-Web. But now that he's actually talking to Yamapi on a daily basis, what's the point in keeping this up anymore?

There's no point trying to converse with Yamapi, anyway. The guy's a lord among the Johnny's - it's like no one's his opponent and Kamenashi would always be on the sidelines watching the guy. Sure, it was fun at first, but now it's starting to seem like a chore and it's not what he intended this to become.


----------------------------


November, 2005

It's funny, because it took this long for Kamenashi to figure out that he's always been "Kame" to Yamapi. Apparently, the guy didn't refrain from using the nickname even after they stopped talking to each other, and though Kamenashi rarely hears it, he learned from several other Johnnys' that Yamapi's always used Kame when Kamenashi's mentioned.

For the last few years, Yamapi's been Yamashita to him, occasionally even Yamashita-kun to remind himself that Yamapi's too far away for him to get close to. They're only an age apart, but if Yamapi belongs at senior-level then it would make perfect sense that Yamapi doesn't talk to him.

But Kamenashi's around Yamapi a lot these days, and just like what happened in KAT-TUN, he's found that Yamapi's really just another guy that got lucky enough to be successful in this business.

They play around on set. They laugh at each other just like Kamenashi would with other KAT-TUN members. They sometimes go out together and even if it's just a karaoke bar, they order each other's songs and kid around like they're thirteen years old again. They...they really don't know each other anymore, but somehow Yamapi is more and more like a friend to Kamenashi.

It's going to hurt, there's no doubt about it. Once they part, it's going to hurt, and Kamenashi would have to live through it just like he always does.

And it's horrifying, because Kamenashi made a mistake on public air, and guess who was there to comfort him? If anyone told him a year ago that Yamapi be muttering "It's alright..." under his breath with an arm on Kamenashi's back, he would have probably laughed.

Only now it's not a joke, and nothing's going as planned. Not that Kamenashi planned how this would go to began with, he had just wanted to at least keep a distance. It's no use getting close to someone that would just throw you away.

But even with that, his blog replies are coming easier than ever.

2005/11/04 (reply to: #816)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

You played baseball with Kamenashi? Must have been really interesting. Kame once said on a talk show that just wearing baseball gloves calm him down somewhat. It's been a few years - I wonder if it's still true? Pitching must be great fun, especially when the weather is getting colder and you want to move around!

But still, you don't have to be a guy to play ball, you know. That's sexist! There are a lot of good female baseball players as well. Even if they're not a good as the professional male baseball players, they're definitely better than you! Ha!

Yet, if there's anything Kamenashi's good at, it's putting up an act in front of others. It should be easy, all he has to do is act like Shuuji, then Yamapi would be Akira to him. If they're Shuuji and Akira instead of Kame and Yamapi, everything would be fine.

Or that's what he thought, but everything goes downward when Yamapi spins his cellphone around one day, asking Kamenashi innocently, "Hey, Kame? You know how fans are generally crazy? I just heard from Koyama that there's this fan who's been writing comments to my J-Web for the last four months..."

His first reaction had been panic. Does Yamapi know it's him? There's no way, though - none of them are really computer experts, there's no way someone'd tracked him down. Then there's anger - god, why does everyone assume he's a fan when he just writes responses like normal? Everyone writes to others, right? Why is this case different?

There's also, of course, the thought that maybe, Yamapi's talking about another blog. He can't be the only one that wanted to do this.

It would only be suspicious if he suddenly stopped, so all Kamenashi could do is continue.

2005/11/26 (reply to: #838)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

It seems like you have a good bond with Kamenashi-kun! You don't seem to really go out together that much, but you two spend a lot of time together on set so it's alright, huh? I wonder if you'd keep in contact after Nobuta wo Produce ends.

SMAP's Orange is a pretty neat song. It's a good ending for a karaoke outing. But just because you said so, you do realize that a lot of fans will start using that song as an ending too?

It's not his fault his entries are getting longer. He's only keeping it on to avoid attention. Yamapi couldn't have taken more than one glance at his blog. As long as he keeps on doing this, Yamapi would soon forget about it and Kamenashi vows to himself that as soon as it feels safe, as soon as it seems like it's alright to quit, he'd stop writing.


----------------------------


December, 2005

It's officially over.

Sure, there's still a few promotion shows they'd have to go to, but it's all pointing towards an end. And while it's obvious that the industry doesn't quite want to let Seishun Amigo go yet due to how big a hit it was, the drama is over and "Shuuji and Akira" will disappear along with it.

As Kamenashi watches the rest of KAT-TUN joke around, he wonders when he'd be able to join in without worrying about trespassing again. The others are still pretending that they don't mind him debuting before them, but honestly, none of them are idiots.

They live in a brutal world, and you either move forward or drop out. Kamenashi's part of KAT-TUN, but if there's no KAT-TUN left then where will he be?

It's not always easy, but forming groups amongst Juniors at least assure that they won't grow to be isolated divas that no one can get along with. Yamapi is enough proof of this - even with his popularity, Johnny gave him NEWS to make sure he's tied down.

"Stop thinking!" Yamapi ordered, barging into the room KAT-TUN's currently occupying. Everyone (aside from Akanishi, because he and Yamapi are like twins when it comes to randomness) stares wide-eyed at the guy, but Yamapi points at Kamenashi without even batting an eyelash at the others. "Stop thinking, I can hear you from next door!"

There should be a rule against people like Yamapi entering any place but his own, because it only took about two minutes before their room is as messy as NEWS's. Christmas decorations are everywhere, but it's been too long since Kamenashi's paid any attention to holidays.

Yamapi grabs his hand and pulls him away from the others. The guy's smiling, and Kamenashi sort of wants to punch him, but he didn't get the chance to even raise his hand when Yamapi suddenly hands him a package.

"It's been a few years, but..." Yamapi grins, looking almost sheepish, "...here's a present. You know, for Christmas. The one I promised you?"

That night, he wrote,

2005/12/23 (reply to: #865)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

It's nearly Christmas. Do you get to celebrate Christmas?

I hope you get to enjoy a happy Christmas. I can't actually hand you a gift, so my blessing is all I can give.

He can still feel Yamapi's fingers around his arm.


----------------------------


January, 2006

(A/N: Starting from here, I am no longer following Yamapi's actual J-Web. Everything below is, therefore, made up.)

Just as predicted, Yamapi and his connections only went so far. It's okay though, because Kamenashi's already braced himself for the lose. No one's forever friends in this business, it's only reasonable that they no longer keep in contact.

Or, that would be what he thought if Yamapi did indeed disappear from his life. Alas, they're in the same industry, and maintaining zero contact is impossible. Worse, now that they're on friendly terms, there's always the compulsion to walk up to the other and just...chill. But all that's left between them are quick exchanges of "How are you?" and "See you!", neither of which has any real meaning.

And then, Thursday midnight Yamapi's diary mentioned his blog. The one he writes replies in. The actual words had been "Ah, did you know? There's this website that's been writing replies to my diary for a long time - it's quite impressive! If you want to visit it, please go to..." and oh dear god, Yamapi hasn't forgotten about it yet, the bastard and his goddamn impressive memory are too freakish for words.

Kamenashi knows how the J-Web works. He doesn't write in it because he doesn't want to share that much of himself with his fans, but he knows how it works. First you write from your own cellphone, then it goes through several gates, security makes sure the content is safe and reveals nothing more than it should, and only then will it be sent to fans.

So how in the world did Yamapi advertising a certain website go through the network? It's not the first time Yamapi's talking about certain fans he met during the day, but this is advertisement - shouldn't it have been banned?

The website gained thousands of comments easily the next day, but now oh shit what the hell should he do? He should have stopped when he could, that much he knows, Yamapi is still paying attention to his site and urgh. Fuck.

2006/01/12 (reply to: #885)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

Thanks for the advertisement. Putting on a show to pretend to be cool, right?

Using Daite Senorita's lyric, Kamenashi decided that this would be the end. What better way to annihilate this mess than to end it with Yamapi's own song?

It doesn't even have to make sense. Yamapi's always putting on an act, and Kamenashi's even more of an expert when it comes to masking himself. But the show's over, and there's no need to continue with this anymore. He started it because he wanted...goddamnit, might as well admit that yes, Kamenashi wanted to speak to Yamashita, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

When he doesn't update for the next few days, people arrived in floods wondering why he's stopping when Yamapi himself "Oh my GOD noticed!!!", so finally he puts up a notice again. This time, instead of explaining that he doesn't know Yamashita in person, Kamenashi wrote down the statement that because he doesn't want publicity, he's closing down the blog.

It's true enough.


----------------------------


February, 2006

He hadn't expected, however, for Yamapi himself to come crashing in during KAT-TUN's shooting a month later. The guy's frantically muttering under his breath, not making sense at all. It's quite a sight actually, because Yamapi doesn't drop his cool often - practically never, if Kamenashi remembers properly.

"What's wrong?" he asks, but the question was overtaken by Akanishi's, who said, "What's more, who are you here for, anyway?"

"No one!" Yamapi exclaimed, still not making sense. When he continues on shouting, "I don't know who I'm looking for!", all the members of KAT-TUN decided that Yamapi's finally cracked under the pressure. What else could explain Yamapi's current behavior?

When Akanishi pushes Yamapi aside to calm the guy down, Kamenashi follows out of sympathy. If the guy really did go insane, then there's no reason to remain hostile with Yamapi. Not that they're really that unfriendly towards each other, but people with mental sickness need extra foster, right? (And no, Kamenashi did not realize that for the moment, he'd completely forgotten how the rest of the world clearly prefers Yamashita over other Johnny's.)

"So, you calm enough to talk?" Akanishi raises an eyebrow as he asks.

Yamapi sighs, "Yeah, just..." he took a quick glance at Kamenashi, making Kamenashi wonder if he's welcome into this conversation. The guy doesn't stop though, "...you know, about that blog I told you about? The one that stopped updating because I was stupid enough to talk about it?"

With that, Kamenashi wants to run. This isn't his environment, this isn't his place. He's not Yamapi's friend anyway, he shouldn't be here, and why oh why is Yamapi still talking about his goddamn blog?

"You're only talking about it every three sentences. Of course I know about it."

"I just want to-" Yamapi begins, but Akanishi doesn't allow the guy to continue.

"-meet that person, I know. Dear gods, it's not even literature! Why are you so obsessed about this one fan? It's probably another lovesick girl, just like all those others! Just because she sounds like someone who could be your friend or soulmate? Do you even realize how stupid you sound?"

Yamapi looked at Kamenashi apologetically, "I'm sorry. You didn't need to know that, huh?"

Looking into Yamapi's eyes, Kamenashi couldn't get himself to say anything. He did nothing wrong, that much he's positive about, but why then does he feel like he should apologize? It's Yamapi who's stupid enough to pay attention to an online blog, not him.

"It's okay, I...understand. Sometimes, just reading something of someone's makes you think you know someone, right?"

Just like reading Yamapi's J-Web gave him the illusion that they're friends. Like how he thinks he's closer to Yamapi then he really is, because he's been reading the other's writing all these months.

When he meets Yamapi's eyes again, he realizes that they're alike in more ways than he thought. They're both idiots and dreamers at heart, even if their dreams are slowly being consumed by their careers.

And finally, after everything, Kamenashi came to the conclusion that sooner or later, he would have to tell Yamapi the truth. It's most definitely not what Yamapi wants to hear, but unless Kamenashi finishes it off this way, this would never truly end.

...Just, not yet. When he's ready. He'd tell Yamapi when he's ready.


----------------------------


March, 2006

"Kame? There's something you want to show me?"

It's been years since Yamapi's visited Kamenashi at home. After they've grown apart, it had seemed like they would never get close enough to meet each other in close quarters such as this one again. That's not the case now, and maybe Kamenashi's a little glad. Only a little, but it's good to know that he has at least one more person he can talk to again.

"Yeah, leave your shoes by the door."

He's ready now. As ready as he'd ever be, anyway. Yamapi won't be happy when he finds out, but since the guy did say he'd like to be friends with whoever wrote that blog...it doesn't matter if Kamenashi's not a girl (and not a fan), right?

"So, what is it?"

Kamenashi points a finger towards his room, "This way."

As Kamenashi turns on the monitor of his computer, Yamapi went completely silent. Does he know what Kamenashi's about to show him? There's only one way to find out, and that's exactly what Kamenashi's planning to do.

It's too late to chicken out anyway. And Kamenashi's no coward. With practiced motions, he clicked open the blog site, not pausing to look at Yamapi. The guy's probably figured it out already, just with this simple motion. Or maybe he's thinking that Kamenashi can show him who it is? Nah, they both know Kamenashi's no computer expert.

When the 'Sign In' page loads, he can hear Yamapi's gasp from behind him. Typing in his username, the air in room chills down to a bone-thrilling degree. Next it's the password - after typing it so many times, it only took a few seconds before he's logged onto the site.

Closing his eyes for a few short seconds, he turns around to face Yamapi.

"...So...it's you?"

The question's not a very intelligent one, but it's only to be expected. The guy's probably in shock. Heh. "Yeah."

"I sort of guessed, but I never really dared to actually think...I mean..." Yamapi's eyes revealed no intention to leave the screen as he stammers on, "...It sounded kind of like you, but I thought. You..."

"I'm sorry-" Kamenashi starts, wondering how much he should tell the other, but Yamapi gave him no chance to think further.

"-Don't be!" the usually calm and collected NEWS leader grabbed Kamenashi by the shoulders, as if wanting to shake him awake. Upon realizing his rash move, the hands were removed, but Yamapi's words didn't change when he repeated again, "Don't be, please."

There was an awkward pause, only slightly improving when Yamapi starts, "That person...I always did associate that person with you. Maybe it's because you really did write a lot about our shooting during Nobuta wo Produce - a little too much, so I sort of guessed. But you always appeared to have no interest in me at all, so I dismissed the thought. Turns out I shouldn't have, eh?"

Kamenashi doesn't know what he's thinking anymore, except that he wants Yamapi to move on. Away from this dreadful mess. But...but, if moving on from this meant moving on from their brief friendship as well, then maybe, just maybe, Kamenashi sort of wishes that that won't be the case either.

Because Yamapi's really a nice person, and Kamenashi wants to be around the guy. It's really just that simple, isn't it? There's no way around it.

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not!" the guy actually looks surprised, so Kamenashi decides that it's only right to at least believe him, "...Just, you do realize that I kind of, you know, without knowing that it's you, obviously, erm, thought you're my soulmate?"

The sentence's in past tense, so Kamenashi laughs at Yamapi's ruffled appearance. He's seeing a Yamapi rarely shown in public, and things are looking pretty good.

Yamapi twisted his lips upward as well, but there's a sense of loss in his expression. Perhaps the guy's still in shock, despite what he said? It's understandable though, and Kamenashi can't blame the guy for not reacting like a perfect robot would - they're only human, after all.

"I really liked what you wrote...especially when you criticise me." Yamapi suddenly says, when they're just chilling in front of the television, "Most of them are so true and, helpful and, I want to be that kind of person for you, too. Someone that would point out your mistakes and provide you support."

It's not a marriage proposal, but something about it makes Kamenashi want to cry.

Later, alone at night after Yamapi's left, Kamenashi updates his blog again, for just one last time. With the continuation of Daite Senorita's lyric, because it's all he can think about.

2006/03/16 (reply to: #948)

Dear Yamashita-kun:

Hold me, hold me, hold me, senorita; strongly, strongly, strongly, don't let go.

- K.

Whether the fans read this or not really doesn't matter. Maybe Yamapi will see this tomorrow, maybe since there was no updates he's already stopped coming to the site. Kamenashi may not be of high education (like the bastard Yamapi and more than half of those NEWS gangsters are), but he's not stupid and he knows what anyone would think if they read this.

It's probably exactly what he means, anyway. If there's anything Kamenashi learned from this, it's that it's just simpler to write what you mean.